Thursday, April 10, 2008

One Month Down!

My last treatment in this first cycle is done. I have two weeks off from chemo now so will not have to return until April 23rd. My doctor has said that would stay this course for six months so only five more to go! For those of you who have been asking, the chemo I am on is Avastin and Abraxane. I get the Abraxane one times a week for three weeks with one week off and the abraxane every other week with one week off. Today's treatment was just as uneventful as the past. Uneventful as no reactions to the drugs, no problems accessing my port you know medical stuff. Linda went with me this time and we got a little bit of Relay For Life work done. I think she was glad to have my attention as I have not been the best at checking e mails and attending meetings. Thanks Linda for always knowing what I can handle and always lifting the load for me. Linda has also brought to my attention that I am not being truthful in my blog. Yes, I am a farce.
See how she knows me? I am sure I am not fooling anyone else out there either! Thanks Linda, only a true friend could tell someone on their way to chemo, "hey tell the people the truth not what they want to hear". So here it goes. I am not doing well. I am tired all the time. I am frustrated that I cannot be a good mom, I am mad that this is my life!!!!!!!!!!
Ughh, and my hair is falling out! Ok, I feel better now. Actually I do feel better. God sent Marisue and Diane a little whisper to call me, I needed them. Marisue thanks for reminding me that it's okay that I don't get out of my pajamas until noon some days. So what? I don't have to be anywhere. Diane reminded me (for those who are reading A New Earth) that it is important for me to live in the present even though the present sucks. That this is my life right now and is here before me just like any other part of my life to learn something. While I can still count the months down before chemo will be done or the cancer will be gone, I must live today and make today count even if I feel like crap. Thanks Marisue and Diane.
As I stated earlier, my hair is falling out. I did my usual pull on the hair test and lots came out. It looks like a head shaving party is in our midst perhaps this weekend. For those of you who are local, I ask that you talk to your kids about Mrs. Schierts sudden haircut, since it is sudden and pretty weird.
More news that we got yesterday is that they are going to drain the fluid around my heart tomorrow. I requires an overnight stay in the hospital so that they can monitor my heart. It also entails them sticking a long needle under my rib cage into the peritoneal cavity and extracting the fluid. For those of you that watch ER this is that same cool thing they do when someone has had a massive heart attack and the fluid has really built up and is life threatening and they stick the needle in their heart without any anesthesia. Anyhow, I should be home on Saturday sometime.
I am really excited about my great friends Terry and Robin coming into town next week. Zoe and Grace are really excited as they love to hear old stories about mom.
Thanks to all of you for the prayers, cards, meals, childcare and calls. They really keep me going and remind how much we are loved.

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