Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Doing Well

Last Wednesday I changed chemo again and I must say that it wasn't that bad. I am now on Doxil which is actually a chemo for ovarian cancer. My prayers were for strength as the timing was not great since we had Zoe's first communion this past Saturday. God is good because I felt great and really enjoyed the incredible weekend. It was such an emotional day witnessing not only Zoe but all of her friends receiving the Eucharist for the first time. Those little people are just so stinking cute! We had a house full afterwards and it just was an awesome day. Thanks to Hal's parents and sister Amy along with my mom and brother Tim for coming and making it even more special. You can check out my little darling on You Tube and see what a bang up job she did at singing the psalm. It was quite the honor for her to be asked and it was quite the honor for us to witness. I am just so moved every time she gets up and shares the gift that God has graced her with.
I am just laying low right now and following directions. My BP is still running a bit high and so I am back and forth seeing the cardiologist as we adjust meds. I actually took a walk this afternoon which felt really good as I haven't exercised at all and have noticed my muscle mass is depleting.
I am not sure how much more chemo I will have but hope we soon can take a break. Hal and I would love to take the girls somewhere this summer and create some fun memories.
Much love and huge thanks go out to all of you as you continue to care for the Schierts family. The house cleaning, meals, and little surprises are so generous and thoughtful. We love you all and appreciate you so much.

Friday, April 10, 2009

That's It!

I think I'm allergic to chemo. I have been in bed off and on for a week and that is all I can think of. Everyone else I know who has done chemo always says "Oh, I just felt like I had the flu for a couple of days and then I was fine" or "no big deal" as they continue to work a 40 hour work week! either I am allergic or they are lying!!! Either way, I feel like I just can't continue to do this. Today is a better day, a good day Good Friday! Lent is a time for us to reflect on the suffering of Jesus which my suffering can no where near compare to His, but I can reflect a lot more and it has been difficult. I have caught myself saying "but at least you knew when your suffering would end, and yours only lasted a few days (the Passion). Can you believe I would tell Him that? Anyhow, He told me back that He had suffered all of his human life since the day that He was born. He was born into a very poor family where many times they went with out food. During his ministry he was constantly ridiculed and questioned and kicked out of most places he visited. And when he was nailed to the cross, even his friends had abandoned him. Not to mention his physical sufferings on the cross. Okay well he's got that...... So, what I have learned to do is to take up my physical suffering for all of you who are also suffering and unite it to his. He does take a bit from me and I do feel better afterwards. Hal keeps saying that God just isn't done perfecting me yet. I'd be happy with Ann, you're okay, who needs perfection?
Speaking of Hal, can I just tell you what a remarkable man I have been blessed with? He has had more roles put on his shoulders these days. The man is incredible and never stops giving to any of us ever! So the next time you see him make sure you look him in the eye and tell him good job, you rock Hal!
I signed the family up for a support group for families with chronic illnesses. The girls really like it and we are able to learn more about what they are thinking and feeling about mommy's cancer. Zoe came home with a very graphic black and red picture of what my cancer looks like. She really thinks it would look good on one of my photo necklaces. I can see it now...... maybe I can talk her into a self portrait instead. Gracie still keeps the family going by being the clown and keeping everyone laughing. That's it for now. Have a blessed Easter everyone.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I saw Him Today

Today I saw Jesus a couple hundred times. And I was just taking the girls to school. How does that happen you ask? Well the streets were lined with kids and their parents, with grandparents, and babies, even the easter bunny was there. It was a parade of well wishers for me on my way to the doctor to get the results of my latest PET scan. I well up with tears still thinking about it. As Hal drove slowly down the road and as as I looked at each one of you I saw Jesus. I saw the love He has for me through all of you and I saw the love you all have for me through Him. You strenghthen me with your love and comittment to always be there for me and my family and you never cease to amaze me with the way in which you do it. These past few months have been hard ones, ones when I wake up each day and pray that the next day will be better. All of you make my days a bit brighter and you know just how to lighten my load with your never ending desire to help. Thank you so much!
Okay on to the results of my scans. The lesions in my liver have shrunk and no other cancer is seen else where. We have switched to a different type of chemo as the doctor believes that this one is wearing on me and causing other issues that we don't need. Today I started on adriamycin and cytoxin wich is what I took seven years ago when this whole mess began. Hopefully this will be better tolerated and instead of having bad days and worst days there will be some good and even greater days ahead.
My love and thanks to all of you again for the lovely surprise this morning. Everyone should have a parade. It makes you feel so very special and loved. I love you too and thank God for showing me His love through all of you.