I think I'm allergic to chemo. I have been in bed off and on for a week and that is all I can think of. Everyone else I know who has done chemo always says "Oh, I just felt like I had the flu for a couple of days and then I was fine" or "no big deal" as they continue to work a 40 hour work week! either I am allergic or they are lying!!! Either way, I feel like I just can't continue to do this. Today is a better day, a good day Good Friday! Lent is a time for us to reflect on the suffering of Jesus which my suffering can no where near compare to His, but I can reflect a lot more and it has been difficult. I have caught myself saying "but at least you knew when your suffering would end, and yours only lasted a few days (the Passion). Can you believe I would tell Him that? Anyhow, He told me back that He had suffered all of his human life since the day that He was born. He was born into a very poor family where many times they went with out food. During his ministry he was constantly ridiculed and questioned and kicked out of most places he visited. And when he was nailed to the cross, even his friends had abandoned him. Not to mention his physical sufferings on the cross. Okay well he's got that...... So, what I have learned to do is to take up my physical suffering for all of you who are also suffering and unite it to his. He does take a bit from me and I do feel better afterwards. Hal keeps saying that God just isn't done perfecting me yet. I'd be happy with Ann, you're okay, who needs perfection?
Speaking of Hal, can I just tell you what a remarkable man I have been blessed with? He has had more roles put on his shoulders these days. The man is incredible and never stops giving to any of us ever! So the next time you see him make sure you look him in the eye and tell him good job, you rock Hal!
I signed the family up for a support group for families with chronic illnesses. The girls really like it and we are able to learn more about what they are thinking and feeling about mommy's cancer. Zoe came home with a very graphic black and red picture of what my cancer looks like. She really thinks it would look good on one of my photo necklaces. I can see it now...... maybe I can talk her into a self portrait instead. Gracie still keeps the family going by being the clown and keeping everyone laughing. That's it for now. Have a blessed Easter everyone.