Friday, April 10, 2009

That's It!

I think I'm allergic to chemo. I have been in bed off and on for a week and that is all I can think of. Everyone else I know who has done chemo always says "Oh, I just felt like I had the flu for a couple of days and then I was fine" or "no big deal" as they continue to work a 40 hour work week! either I am allergic or they are lying!!! Either way, I feel like I just can't continue to do this. Today is a better day, a good day Good Friday! Lent is a time for us to reflect on the suffering of Jesus which my suffering can no where near compare to His, but I can reflect a lot more and it has been difficult. I have caught myself saying "but at least you knew when your suffering would end, and yours only lasted a few days (the Passion). Can you believe I would tell Him that? Anyhow, He told me back that He had suffered all of his human life since the day that He was born. He was born into a very poor family where many times they went with out food. During his ministry he was constantly ridiculed and questioned and kicked out of most places he visited. And when he was nailed to the cross, even his friends had abandoned him. Not to mention his physical sufferings on the cross. Okay well he's got that...... So, what I have learned to do is to take up my physical suffering for all of you who are also suffering and unite it to his. He does take a bit from me and I do feel better afterwards. Hal keeps saying that God just isn't done perfecting me yet. I'd be happy with Ann, you're okay, who needs perfection?
Speaking of Hal, can I just tell you what a remarkable man I have been blessed with? He has had more roles put on his shoulders these days. The man is incredible and never stops giving to any of us ever! So the next time you see him make sure you look him in the eye and tell him good job, you rock Hal!
I signed the family up for a support group for families with chronic illnesses. The girls really like it and we are able to learn more about what they are thinking and feeling about mommy's cancer. Zoe came home with a very graphic black and red picture of what my cancer looks like. She really thinks it would look good on one of my photo necklaces. I can see it now...... maybe I can talk her into a self portrait instead. Gracie still keeps the family going by being the clown and keeping everyone laughing. That's it for now. Have a blessed Easter everyone.

3 comments:

Lynne said...

Happy Easter Shierts'!! You rock Hal - I always knew you did, but nice to hear it from Ann again and again!! God's Blessings!!

Miss you guys!

Jennifer said...

Ann,

Just wanted to pass along some info from a friend of mine who went through chemo last year for ovarian cancer. She had a similar experience as you - she was wiped out for far longer than just a few days after each session. She suggested a few resources for you to consider, if you haven't already. She recommends a book called "Beating Cancer with Nutrition," which is available through the JOCO library system. Also, she recommends the Department of Integrative Medicine at KU Med, where she gets Vitamin C shots and other therapies to improve overall health. Hope this helps a little. We're praying for you, neighbor.

Jennifer and the rest of the Wilsons

Jonna Harris said...

Hey there, Ann -

You are such an inspiration and an amazing person! I did want to let you know that when I had chemo 4 years ago for my breast cancer, the AC treatment protocol was very bad for me. I was sick and in bed for about a week each time. In fact, my oncologist would put me on a medicated sleep to help me through it. While I was able to work PT on the two off-weeks, that first week my closest friend was my bed. In you haven't tried acupuncture, I highly recommend it. My oncology had me try it for the third AC treatment and I did feel better. Dr. Marth Atkins in Bonner (by the old Walmart) is wonderful! After 4 ACs, the treatment was 4 Taxol treatments, which were much easier on me. Still tired for a week but no sickness.
May you find peace in that I do see Him clearer each time I read your blog. I, too, know He is there every step!
Your Friend, Jonna Harris