I am not going to sugar coat today BUT i AM GOING TO LET IT ALL OUT..... okay, I didn't even mean to use all caps there it just happened and quite frankly it gets my frustration out even more! My cough is still around and my chest hurts. In addition I now have sort of a weird thing with my esophagus where it hurts to eat or drink the tiniest of anything. when you prevent me from eating and drinking that's it... just shoot me. I really do feel like I am a hypochondriac and that if I can just suffer through the fatigue of chemo my life would be golden. I even screamed at God today and really let him have it. I can't say it made me feel any better, actually a bit worse by being so disrespectful. Anyhow, as I sat here wallowing in pity for myself just wondering what God's plan is for me, how much more? I read today's first reading........



My son, when you come to serve the LORD,stand in justice and fear,prepare yourself for trials.Be sincere of heart and steadfast,incline your ear and receive the word of understanding,undisturbed in time of adversity.Wait on God, with patience, cling to him, forsake him not;thus will you be wise in all your ways.Accept whatever befalls you,when sorrowful, be steadfast,and in crushing misfortune be patient;For in fire gold and silver are tested,and worthy people in the crucible of humiliation.Trust God and God will help you;trust in him, and he will direct your way;keep his fear and grow old therein.