We all miss Ann!!!

Zoe here - At 4:00AM was probably the worst goodbye and crying and emotions shared in room 21. My mom died with love and hope & some memories to carry with her to heaven. A double rainbow that Mike talked about that appeared right out on our front doorstep on Friday after the storm welcoming her to heaven.

We Love You Mom!!!

Ann Elizabeth Schierts 1966-2010

In the arms of Jesus

Peace be with you all -

Ann passed on to our Lord at 4 am today. She passed in peace while I was holding her hand. I love her so much and there is certainly an emptiness in the house today. I know that she is in the love of God with all of her pain removed. She will remain connected to us all and we now have a beautiful soul in heaven advocating for us.

The day she passed while a blur was at the same time sacred - I was by her side doing my best not to be the Martha but instead witnessing the love being poured out on her by our heavenly Father through the double rainbow Mike mentioned as well as so many caring friends and family. She spent many moments of prayer through the weeks and days leading up today. She witnessed rosaries being said for her on our driveway -- what a witness to the children. She had the opportunity to be well prepared for her death by Father Craig and she was at extreme peace.

If I were to have a message in this it would be twofold. 1) I heard Ann say it many times; slow down be open to how God is working around / through each of us; we have such a tendency to rush to fill the void of needs with our own skills / approaches that we, at times, prevent God from doing the work that is His -- when God answers it is elegant and flows with love; 2) Focus more on the hope of heaven rather than the challenges of this earthly life. As I said to Zoe and Grace, its ok for us to have boo hoo's (down moments) but we need also to looking for the woo hoo's (up moments) as well. Please, please, please, let Ann's passing not become a stumbling block for you with God. This disease, cancer, was the culprit not some uncaring or sadistic action of God. God is good and I am very comforted by the knowledge that my dear lovely Ann is with Jesus.

Zoe, Grace and I now take up the process of grieving as I know many of you will do in your way as well. Please know that we will forever trust in the Lord and in His goodness.

Ann -- save that dance for me when I join you.

Hal

The Double Rainbow

Mike Book here, filling in for Hal, who has not left Ann's side for several hours. Ann has been moved to the Hospice House. We do not know when her Father will call her home, but it will likely be soon. She has said goodbyes. There have been tears, smiles, kisses and laughter. We were reminded today that God is not in the thunder, He is not in the wind, He is not in the storm. No, He is the slightest whisper. He is the double rainbow that appeared over Ann's house today after the tempest blew over. He is the "I love you" that has been repeated so many times today. I have witnessed His beauty in the selfless love poured out by friends and family, and by Ann and Hal as they openly share the precious gift of allowing us all to participate in these moments. There is no greater love than to give your life for your friends. I love you Ann.

Sneaking Away

Hi All, it's me Ann giving Hal the break this time. I am up in my room listening to the all the sweet sounds of all my nephews and Zoe and Grace having fun blowing up a 2 second firecracker. Oh do you remember those days?
My three brothers along with their families are all here enjoying memories and creating more. even though i am exhausted and in some pain, I continue to ask God to keep me in the present, to let me hold on to this present that he has given to me. I keep reminding the girls that this is so rare where we can come together and celebrate our lives and to see each other in this atmosphere for the last time. How many people get this? How many people just leave this earth in an instant? Truly a blessing is all I can say.
Hal has told you all about the miraculous angels that flutter about all day and I think about how this is just an average day for the heavenly angels though we are too busy to stop and take notice.
You should see my beautiful room that I have. all you ladies have such talent and my peaceful room painted a serene blue with hints of pinks and whites so much remind me of my heavenly mother who awaits me. I can' t tell you the peace and serenity I feel each time I take the moment to rest in there. I am not ready to make it my full time residence just yet but oh how good it will be when I do. This past week has transpired into such a fantastic love fest and Jesus awakes me every morning with a smile on his face and a sort of slant in his neck saying "ready yet"? No lord, I'm not. Then he sends one of his angels named Sarah and we begin our day reading scripture and worshiping his name.
Thank you all for respecting our privacy, I know this is hard on you and that you only wish to see me and make sure I am ok but it does take a lot of energy for me each day to talk as my voice has gotten much weaker and I rely on my oxygen throughout the day.
I have read each card and feel your love, know that I am goood and dressed and even showered each day! I receive communion every afternoon and just watch and listen to the day.
The girls are so smart and so helpful. They understand as much as possible and really show their faith by talking about what is to come and what is troubling them. Although nothing is wrong in their world this second as their older cousins help them turn into little pyromaniacs.
Until the next time my friends, keep this love for me and spread it others who have no one to pray for them. I can share I can share.
Ann

Showered by love

Peace and blessings to you.

Luke 1:46-47 And Mary said: "My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my savior."

Ann and I are overwhelmed by the love of God being showered on our family -- such a great abundance of graces being poured out by heaven. It is so beautiful and humbling. I have said to Zoe and Grace many times that if they wonder just how much God loves mommy they simply can watch the flow of blessings coming through our front door. So too, my soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord! My gr attitude to our Lord and all of His helpers.

We are blessed with good care from the hospice team and the house has been made ready for the anticipated events to follow. A big thanks to all of the ladies from the painting crew who did a beauty make over on the room that will be used by Ann. Of course, this is one of the many touching acts of charity which also include: prayers, flowers, food, gifts, cards, hugs, and the list goes on. You are all wonderful.

Physically, Ann has had a bad day and a good day since the last update. I find that she tires easily and we simply out of our own frailty not able to keep up with all of the calls, e-mails, text messages. We both wish we could have the energy and want you to know we are praying for you too. Knowing how easily she tires I would ask all to consider sending or leaving a card. For those that do stop by, I would suggest that early afternoon is the best time for Ann and we have created a stop-light code on the door to let you know if she's accepting visitors (red means she's pooped out or feels like poop; green means its ok to stop). If you do stop, I would ask that we keep visits to a short 15 minute duration with limited number of people at a time.

Ann's spirits remain good. She has received Confession, Anointing, and daily Eucharist. She has a prayer partner come by each day to be with her and Zoe and her even together do the daily Mass readings. I would love to see that habit continue for Zoe (and perhaps a few of you out there too?). In addition, some of the Little Sisters of the Lamb came to the house today to pray with Ann and the family. They are such a blessing to Kansas City - I pray that each of you can meet them yourselves too.

I opened with the words of Mary as I often reflect on her witness of the suffering of Jesus as a good source of learning and application in my life as I witness Ann's suffering. Mary was remarkable. In her Yes to God's request, I learn that each action in every moment is our opportunity to say Yes to God's request in our lives. Mostly, they are little requests for me as I am little compared to Mary and certainly more so compared to God. But, think about the love that is unleashed when all of us choose Yes together -- for me, I see some small portrait of that at my front door each day. Being the mother of Jesus was not Mary's goal in life. Neither was cancer Ann's goal -- how beautiful the painting becomes when God combines all of our Yes choices both great and small to His will?

Keep the faith -- God loves you and desires your Yes today.
Hal

Letting go...is hard to do.

Hal here again ---

Today's visit with Ann's oncologist brought us to the realization that Ann's valiant fight against this disease has not been successful. The growth of the cancer in her liver has progressed and so rather than to have her final days filled with chemo and hospitals -- we instead opted for signing up for hospice. I must say a sincere thanks to all of the wonderful doctors, nurses, and others that have cared so well for Ann.

The time remaining is unknown -- we are led to believe that 3-6 weeks is likely. I have such mixed feelings between deepest of sorrow to relief that her pain will end and she will be soon able to see heaven.

Of course, my greatest concern about Ann's parting is, has been and will be for our two beautiful children that God has given to us. I know that the Lord will provide -- I wish God in His infinite mercy can ease their pain. I also know that I can count on so many of you acting as his angels will be with us in this tough times ahead to help.

To you the readers of this blog, I will with Ann's permission continue to post her beautiful transition from this life to the next. I fully trust that God still has many wonderful blessings that He intends to shower on all of us through this process.

I so love you my dear and will be with you every step of the way.
God Bless.
Hal

It was the best of times and the worst of times...

Hal here -- guest writing for Ann to everyone.

Ann was discharged from the hospital on Tuesday as she indicated in her last note -- though she was weak and tired. I thought we were headed back to the hospital for a while on Wednesday and Thursday with her pain pretty severe, shortness of breath, and nausea. She is now on oxygen and the effects of chemo seem to be waning some. She goes back in to seek Dr. Fabin on Monday to discuss her liver biopsy results and plan the next steps in treatment. Our understanding at this point will be continued chemo of some kind. We did find out that the experimental drug will not be a good match for her based on the early indications of the biopsy -- as always we are in His hands and we feel that we've reached a cross roads in the journey.

The girls have had the blessing of my parents here to spoil them for a few days followed by my aunt. It was great to see Zoe, Grace and Aunt Susie having a squirt gun fight on the back deck -- wish we had that one on video. The girls have also enjoyed sleep overs, going to theater in the park, and the laid back days of summer. Zoe, our traditional early riser, has even found that sleeping in has its benefits.

The gospel reading for today (Mt 8:5-17) brings us the story of the faith of the centurion and several examples of Jesus healing the possessed and sick "to fulfill what had been said by Isaiah the prophet: He took away our infirmities and bore our diseases." I ask Jesus several times a day to take away this disease from Ann if it is His will. I realize there is so much of His love and graces being poured out on Ann at this time -- I feel it in the prayers, cards, meals, flowers, and love you send to Ann -- thank you.

I pray that Ann and I remain open to His will and to love each other, our children and you with the grace of His love. We know of so many of you that have your own crosses too. It is important for you to share those hardships with the rest of the body of Christ -- that is, you see, how His love is made present and real -- it is in each of us caring for and taking care of those in need around us. It is a two part equation: 1) someone in need, one afflicted with suffering of some form; and 2) someone with a gift given by the Holy Spirit to give or offer others.

So, if you are in need and hurting (physically, emotionally, spiritually) and you don't seek His help through your neighbor -- that is going to keep His graces from reaching you -- it takes humility and that is hard. If you have some gift to give and you don't seek out opportunities to make those available to those in need -- it may be judgmental or selfish; it takes acts of charity which lead us to love of God's people. So, both kinds of people are needed and often both parts (needs and gifts) are present within each of us. I know its hard and we allow the devil to trick us so often on both parts but in your heart you know that you feel the God's love when both parts are exchanged with His will at the core. You see, in the exchange, God's love is made present to both persons -- its a beautiful thing.

Jesus, you know us. You know what we need. I pray that you help us to be open, to be vulnerable, to be willing to be loved by You through others. I pray that you give us wisdom to become more aware of the gifts that the Holy Spirit has provided to us AND that we use these gifts each day to benefit your creation.

I thank you for the blessings of my wife and family. I pray that I may be a worthy channel of your love to to others.

Peace be with you all.