Usually if I don't post on the blog I am feeling too good to sit down and take the time or I am feeling really bad and can't even see the keyboard. This past week or so has been the latter.
I had chemo last Wednesday and I think it was that day that I also caught my cold. The two just don't mix! On top of that I started having some blood pressure problems and was in the ER last Sunday. The chemo makes my BP jump fairly high. I am now on two BP medicines and thus far it has still not come down. I do feel tons better but still pretty tired.
Tomorrow is PET and CT scan day. Please pray that all is shrinking and or all is clear. I will get the results on Wednesday along with my next round of chemo.
It has been a lot of fun wearing my new wig. Some people have to take two or three looks before they realize it's me. Some still just walk right past me in the grocery store. A good friend's husband said that I looked like a "fun gal you'd meet in a bar." I took that as a compliment.
Stay tuned for my test results...... until then have a great week and remember to tell those you love you love them.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Better Days
Sorry to leave you on my last note and not let you know that I am doing much much better.
The terrible pain I was having whenever I ate or drank is almost totally gone. My doctor decided that my esophagus had been fried by the radiation and began treating me for an ulcer. Within three days my pain was gone. We are also hoping that this is the reason for my persistent cough. The cough has gotten better but still not gone. Perhaps that will just take a bit more time.
I am still fatigued but it seems if I keep busy then I forget about it. My second round of chemo is on Wednesday. I feel like I have been released from prison on a good behavior pass and now it's time to return; so I have been diligently trying to get things done around the house and with other responsibilities that I have.
I have decided to wear a wig this time around. It seems the girls main concern about mommy having cancer is that I lose my hair. But instead of going with something that looks like my hair, I have decided to go red. Yes, so if you are looking for me but only see a foxy red head before you, do not be alarmed it is just my altar ego Roxy. Yes, you may call me foxy Roxy!
My hair should start falling out within the next two weeks (it usually happens after the second treatment).
My oldest brother and his family arrive from Tampa in a week for spring break. We are all super excited to spend some time together and hopefully enjoy this warm weather Kansas City has been having!
The terrible pain I was having whenever I ate or drank is almost totally gone. My doctor decided that my esophagus had been fried by the radiation and began treating me for an ulcer. Within three days my pain was gone. We are also hoping that this is the reason for my persistent cough. The cough has gotten better but still not gone. Perhaps that will just take a bit more time.
I am still fatigued but it seems if I keep busy then I forget about it. My second round of chemo is on Wednesday. I feel like I have been released from prison on a good behavior pass and now it's time to return; so I have been diligently trying to get things done around the house and with other responsibilities that I have.
I have decided to wear a wig this time around. It seems the girls main concern about mommy having cancer is that I lose my hair. But instead of going with something that looks like my hair, I have decided to go red. Yes, so if you are looking for me but only see a foxy red head before you, do not be alarmed it is just my altar ego Roxy. Yes, you may call me foxy Roxy!
My hair should start falling out within the next two weeks (it usually happens after the second treatment).
My oldest brother and his family arrive from Tampa in a week for spring break. We are all super excited to spend some time together and hopefully enjoy this warm weather Kansas City has been having!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I am not going to sugar coat today BUT i AM GOING TO LET IT ALL OUT..... okay, I didn't even mean to use all caps there it just happened and quite frankly it gets my frustration out even more! My cough is still around and my chest hurts. In addition I now have sort of a weird thing with my esophagus where it hurts to eat or drink the tiniest of anything. when you prevent me from eating and drinking that's it... just shoot me. I really do feel like I am a hypochondriac and that if I can just suffer through the fatigue of chemo my life would be golden. I even screamed at God today and really let him have it. I can't say it made me feel any better, actually a bit worse by being so disrespectful. Anyhow, as I sat here wallowing in pity for myself just wondering what God's plan is for me, how much more? I read today's first reading........
My son, when you come to serve the LORD,stand in justice and fear,prepare yourself for trials.Be sincere of heart and steadfast,incline your ear and receive the word of understanding,undisturbed in time of adversity.Wait on God, with patience, cling to him, forsake him not;thus will you be wise in all your ways.Accept whatever befalls you,when sorrowful, be steadfast,and in crushing misfortune be patient;For in fire gold and silver are tested,and worthy people in the crucible of humiliation.Trust God and God will help you;trust in him, and he will direct your way;keep his fear and grow old therein.
My son, when you come to serve the LORD,stand in justice and fear,prepare yourself for trials.Be sincere of heart and steadfast,incline your ear and receive the word of understanding,undisturbed in time of adversity.Wait on God, with patience, cling to him, forsake him not;thus will you be wise in all your ways.Accept whatever befalls you,when sorrowful, be steadfast,and in crushing misfortune be patient;For in fire gold and silver are tested,and worthy people in the crucible of humiliation.Trust God and God will help you;trust in him, and he will direct your way;keep his fear and grow old therein.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
You Can Pray For Me Anytime~
After my initial meeting with my doctor yesterday and repeating the CT, it turns out that there is NO cancer in my lungs after all!!!!! lots of questions as to why but I will take it as another positive reason for massive prayers from all of you. This however did not prevent me from starting chemo yesterday. All along I have had a couple of spots on my liver that have never changed but have now grown slightly in size. As I said, I did start treatment yesterday which is the same regimen I did last time. The chemo is called Abraxane and Avastin for you research gurus. There is no end date but I will receive it every 2 weeks and probably reevaluate with more scans after 6-8 weeks to see if it's killing the little boogers.
For now I still have a cough and shortness of breath most likely due to my paralyzed vocal cord I suffered from radiation back in December. My follow up with the ENT confirmed that the cord is still paralyzed and it is just a wait and see if it will come back on it's own (which will be in three months) or to permanently fix it with surgery.
You know looking back at typing all of this I sound fairly unhealthy. I guess that I am perhaps a bit physically, but spiritually and mentally and emotionally I feel good. All along this journey I continue to look for the good (not to say I don't have really sucky days) but my life must be about being the best that I can be. Even though my best could be better, God gave us this gift to use at all times, in all ways, for all people. Make sure you be the best you can be today!
For now I still have a cough and shortness of breath most likely due to my paralyzed vocal cord I suffered from radiation back in December. My follow up with the ENT confirmed that the cord is still paralyzed and it is just a wait and see if it will come back on it's own (which will be in three months) or to permanently fix it with surgery.
You know looking back at typing all of this I sound fairly unhealthy. I guess that I am perhaps a bit physically, but spiritually and mentally and emotionally I feel good. All along this journey I continue to look for the good (not to say I don't have really sucky days) but my life must be about being the best that I can be. Even though my best could be better, God gave us this gift to use at all times, in all ways, for all people. Make sure you be the best you can be today!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Good News And Bad news
Well the good news is that the CT showed the nodes in my neck to be all resolved. The bad news is that the cancer has now progressed into my right lung. we had been treating my cough and shortness of breath as pneumonia for the past three weeks but the CT shows otherwise. I do not know a whole lot as my doctor has been out of town. What I do know is that I will start on chemotherapy tomorrow morning following a meeting with my doctor to go over the results and a descriptive plan of action. This is all I know for now. I will update with more later.
Please continue to pray more.......
Ann
Please continue to pray more.......
Ann
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Yesterday was a follow up with my oncologist to check on how I was doing after radiation and to formulate a plan for what to do next. Thankfully she is giving me a break and letting me recuperate from the radiation treatments. The radiation continues to break down the DNA of the cancer cells for another few weeks and I just started taking my new drugs. Did I tell you that the new drugs are testosterone? Side affects include facial hair and a deepening in the voice. As long as I don't grow anything else I am okay with taking it. We should see results of that within six weeks. A CT of my chest and neck is scheduled for Feb.11th so other than my Boniva (bone hardening drug, yes the one that Sally Field takes) next Tuesday, I am on a cancer hiatus.
I am slowly getting my energy back and doing all of the things I did before except working out. I just haven't had the mind set for that just yet. I have been studying up on breast cancer and nutrition though. I figure we are doing everything medically possible and even that is just treating it and killing it but not making it go away for good. It's my turn to do everything possible to combat these nasty boogers. So of course every book is different but the main culprits seem to be sugar meat and dairy. What else is there left to eat? Actually it hasn't been terribly hard and the girls and I talked about nutrition and how the family needs to make some changes. After reading some books, I have become concerned for their well being as well. Let's face it. Our kids eat crap. Zoe even took a piece of broccoli off my plate and ate it. There is hope after all.
God has been speaking to me through the daily gospel these days and lately I have been asking Him to heal me and cleanse me from this cancer. Before it was always help me with my suffering and praying for peace and comfort but He says that whatever we should ask for we will receive. Today's gospel speaks of a leper being cleansed and while I know that this refers to sinfullness and repentance and how just by asking to be forgiven that he forgives but I can't not think that leprosy is like my cancer in that by asking him to rid me of this that he will.
I am slowly getting my energy back and doing all of the things I did before except working out. I just haven't had the mind set for that just yet. I have been studying up on breast cancer and nutrition though. I figure we are doing everything medically possible and even that is just treating it and killing it but not making it go away for good. It's my turn to do everything possible to combat these nasty boogers. So of course every book is different but the main culprits seem to be sugar meat and dairy. What else is there left to eat? Actually it hasn't been terribly hard and the girls and I talked about nutrition and how the family needs to make some changes. After reading some books, I have become concerned for their well being as well. Let's face it. Our kids eat crap. Zoe even took a piece of broccoli off my plate and ate it. There is hope after all.
God has been speaking to me through the daily gospel these days and lately I have been asking Him to heal me and cleanse me from this cancer. Before it was always help me with my suffering and praying for peace and comfort but He says that whatever we should ask for we will receive. Today's gospel speaks of a leper being cleansed and while I know that this refers to sinfullness and repentance and how just by asking to be forgiven that he forgives but I can't not think that leprosy is like my cancer in that by asking him to rid me of this that he will.
Mark 40-45
40 And a leper came to him beseeching him, and kneeling said to him, "If you will, you can make me clean."
41 Moved with pity, he stretched out his hand and touched him, and said to him, "I will; be clean." but go, show yourself to the priest, and offer for your cleansing what Moses commanded, for a proof to the people."
And I have told him that if I am made clean that I will do his will. I will scream on the roof tops as "proof to the people" who God is and how he saves us all. I have said before how blessed I am to have this cancer that it has changed me and Hal for so much good and better. This is how it is for all of us and our crosses. If not for these crosses then we would never get to know who we really are nor who God is. We would never know just how strong we are. We would never appreciate the little things in life or grab hold of the important people God has placed in our path.If you are carrying a cross right now, hold on tight and don't let go of it. As you walk, someone will help you along the way and even carry it for you for a little ways. Let them. And remember how Jesus carried his cross for us.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Happy New Year
Happy New Year and happy new voice to me! Yes, my voice is back and I no longer have to feel like the close talker from a Seinfeld episode. The procedure was quick painless and a success. Thank you Dr Garnett for using your gifts that God so graciously gave to you. The collagen that he injected into the vocal cord will last about three months and then we will most likely have to repeat the procedure a second time. Hopefully by that time the vocal cord will come back on it's own, but if not there are other options. Today marks number 13 of my treatments. I am beginning to feel the "burn" and itching like a sunburn. Not too bad though.
My energy level is low but my dehydration is much better and I no longer have the dreadful feeling of a dead animal in my mouth. (sorry but that's what it was like).
My left side of my face still feels a bit droopy and my eyes still a bit unfocused but this will all subside as well as it is just left over symptoms from the pressure I had on the nerve.
After radiation I am taking a break. Like I said earlier, we will try a new drug to stop the growth of the cancer cells and then more scans in a couple of months. The chemotherapy killed all the cancer over the summer. This was a miracle as there was quite a bit of areas to cover and in a short time we killed it! Unfortunately we missed a few or it came back. Regardless...... I have stage IV breast cancer. This will not change, I will be forever fighting this dreadful disease until we find a cure. I ask you to please be uplifted and not so darn mopy when you see me. I am not going anywhere anytime soon people this is just another bump in the road for us. Each day since this began has been such a gift to us. Just marveling in what God gives us makes me giggle. He is so good and merciful!
Whatever, wherever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him; If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him....He does nothing in vain; He may prolong my life, He may shorten it; He knows what He is about -- St. John Henry Cardinal Newman
My energy level is low but my dehydration is much better and I no longer have the dreadful feeling of a dead animal in my mouth. (sorry but that's what it was like).
My left side of my face still feels a bit droopy and my eyes still a bit unfocused but this will all subside as well as it is just left over symptoms from the pressure I had on the nerve.
After radiation I am taking a break. Like I said earlier, we will try a new drug to stop the growth of the cancer cells and then more scans in a couple of months. The chemotherapy killed all the cancer over the summer. This was a miracle as there was quite a bit of areas to cover and in a short time we killed it! Unfortunately we missed a few or it came back. Regardless...... I have stage IV breast cancer. This will not change, I will be forever fighting this dreadful disease until we find a cure. I ask you to please be uplifted and not so darn mopy when you see me. I am not going anywhere anytime soon people this is just another bump in the road for us. Each day since this began has been such a gift to us. Just marveling in what God gives us makes me giggle. He is so good and merciful!
Whatever, wherever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him; If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him....He does nothing in vain; He may prolong my life, He may shorten it; He knows what He is about -- St. John Henry Cardinal Newman
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)