Yesterday was a follow up with my oncologist to check on how I was doing after radiation and to formulate a plan for what to do next. Thankfully she is giving me a break and letting me recuperate from the radiation treatments. The radiation continues to break down the DNA of the cancer cells for another few weeks and I just started taking my new drugs. Did I tell you that the new drugs are testosterone? Side affects include facial hair and a deepening in the voice. As long as I don't grow anything else I am okay with taking it. We should see results of that within six weeks. A CT of my chest and neck is scheduled for Feb.11th so other than my Boniva (bone hardening drug, yes the one that Sally Field takes) next Tuesday, I am on a cancer hiatus.
I am slowly getting my energy back and doing all of the things I did before except working out. I just haven't had the mind set for that just yet. I have been studying up on breast cancer and nutrition though. I figure we are doing everything medically possible and even that is just treating it and killing it but not making it go away for good. It's my turn to do everything possible to combat these nasty boogers. So of course every book is different but the main culprits seem to be sugar meat and dairy. What else is there left to eat? Actually it hasn't been terribly hard and the girls and I talked about nutrition and how the family needs to make some changes. After reading some books, I have become concerned for their well being as well. Let's face it. Our kids eat crap. Zoe even took a piece of broccoli off my plate and ate it. There is hope after all.
God has been speaking to me through the daily gospel these days and lately I have been asking Him to heal me and cleanse me from this cancer. Before it was always help me with my suffering and praying for peace and comfort but He says that whatever we should ask for we will receive. Today's gospel speaks of a leper being cleansed and while I know that this refers to sinfullness and repentance and how just by asking to be forgiven that he forgives but I can't not think that leprosy is like my cancer in that by asking him to rid me of this that he will.

Mark 40-45
40 And a leper came to him beseeching him, and kneeling said to him, "If you will, you can make me clean."
41 Moved with pity, he stretched out his hand and touched him, and said to him, "I will; be clean." but go, show yourself to the priest, and offer for your cleansing what Moses commanded, for a proof to the people."

And I have told him that if I am made clean that I will do his will. I will scream on the roof tops as "proof to the people" who God is and how he saves us all. I have said before how blessed I am to have this cancer that it has changed me and Hal for so much good and better. This is how it is for all of us and our crosses. If not for these crosses then we would never get to know who we really are nor who God is. We would never know just how strong we are. We would never appreciate the little things in life or grab hold of the important people God has placed in our path.If you are carrying a cross right now, hold on tight and don't let go of it. As you walk, someone will help you along the way and even carry it for you for a little ways. Let them. And remember how Jesus carried his cross for us.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year and happy new voice to me! Yes, my voice is back and I no longer have to feel like the close talker from a Seinfeld episode. The procedure was quick painless and a success. Thank you Dr Garnett for using your gifts that God so graciously gave to you. The collagen that he injected into the vocal cord will last about three months and then we will most likely have to repeat the procedure a second time. Hopefully by that time the vocal cord will come back on it's own, but if not there are other options. Today marks number 13 of my treatments. I am beginning to feel the "burn" and itching like a sunburn. Not too bad though.
My energy level is low but my dehydration is much better and I no longer have the dreadful feeling of a dead animal in my mouth. (sorry but that's what it was like).
My left side of my face still feels a bit droopy and my eyes still a bit unfocused but this will all subside as well as it is just left over symptoms from the pressure I had on the nerve.
After radiation I am taking a break. Like I said earlier, we will try a new drug to stop the growth of the cancer cells and then more scans in a couple of months. The chemotherapy killed all the cancer over the summer. This was a miracle as there was quite a bit of areas to cover and in a short time we killed it! Unfortunately we missed a few or it came back. Regardless...... I have stage IV breast cancer. This will not change, I will be forever fighting this dreadful disease until we find a cure. I ask you to please be uplifted and not so darn mopy when you see me. I am not going anywhere anytime soon people this is just another bump in the road for us. Each day since this began has been such a gift to us. Just marveling in what God gives us makes me giggle. He is so good and merciful!
Whatever, wherever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him; If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him....He does nothing in vain; He may prolong my life, He may shorten it; He knows what He is about -- St. John Henry Cardinal Newman